i will cover you

[Sam Alistair Buckley]

"Fuck." his voice sounded harsh, like a deep rumble. It was very clear he just woke up. He wasn't really a mornings person, not that it was still morning. He wasn't really a very nice person when he woke up. He was kind of a jerk, to put it nicely. Some would say he was always like that, but they never took the time to got to know him. He could be really sweet. Mind the word 'could'. Girls didn't really took his interest. Not as lovers or as friends. They talked to much, about each other and themselves. He liked a good gossip too, but he was honest to the people he gossiped about. He would actually tell them what he had told others. He wasn't afraid that they would hate him for that. Then they shouldn't have told him their little secret. This morning, if you could call it still morning, he had promised himself he would run some laps. Not that he needed it, however he needed to keep his body in shape. He loved to work out, it made him feel good and that was what everyone wanted. He asked himself often who didn't want to feel good, anyone should want that in his opinion. He couldn't think someone who wouldn't. He searched for a boxer while arguing with himself if he should go or not. It was almost noon. That was kind of late to go out for a run. Then again, it wasn't that he would let him stop by such a thing. On top of that he had promised himself he would. "Okay." He lost the argument with himself, which happened often. As if you could win from yourself.

Breakfast. Next thing on his schedule. He wasn't really a control freak kind of person, he liked it more when he let it all just happen. However taking care of himself, was important too and therefore he had to make sure everything was structured and organized. He knew he couldn't have both, and he didn't even tried to have it all, however he asked him often what it was that he preferred. He couldn't tell. He liked both. Maybe that was his problem, he couldn't chose. Someone should do that form him, then his life would be a lot easier. He ate an apple and started to do some pushups and sit ups. Important stuff he did before he went on a long run. He knew he wouldn't do it when he came back. He had a glass of water and grabbed his stuff he needed and got out. By grabbing his stuff he took his iPod. So stuff is a big word for a small thing. Stuff stood likely for all the music that was stuffed on the little devil. He plugged it in and started the first song. He sang with it as he waited for the elevator to bring him down. Some people smiled and greeted him as they walked by. He only nodded quickly. He didn't really liked these people, they were different than he was, and not in a positive way. They acted weird to stuff he liked. As working out, instead they rather played backgammon, which was a fun game at times, but not on a daily basis.

He wasn't sure why he liked to run. He knew he could clear his mind and that it was good for his body, other than that it was mostly tiring. Like sex. Sam had been keeping a secret for a long time that he was gay. He knew his father would hate him if he told him he fell for boys. He stuffed all these emotions till he broke, and he had. He was a senior when it happened. There was friend of his who liked to work on his body too and well they shared all the same interests. They had so much fun. It was almost as if they were brothers. That all changed when this friend started to kiss him. It was a sweet kiss and Sam couldn't stop himself. He leaned in more and started to take off his cloths. Not that he came far. When he finally took of the shirt of his friend he was rudely disturbed. There could be only one man who would disturb Sam, which was his father. He called a fag and all sorts of name. Sam had to break up every contact he had with his friend. It was hard but he had no choice. He did what his father asked of him. More out of fear. His father was a man who would beat you when you didn't do what he wanted. He had done so when he caught Sam and this friend. It was his first kiss. It was a good first kiss, but rudely disturbed.

After forty-five minutes he decided he deserved a break. Well that was what he told himself. He took place on a bench and leaned back. Closing his eyes as he enjoyed the sun on his skin. This was what he loved about the summer. He could run and sit whenever he was tired. He could rest some and when he was ready for some more he could go on. Try that in the middle of the winter. I don't think you will enjoy the rain and the snow that much as you will do the sun, Sam knew he didn't. He was a spoiled little boy. Not only because he preferred the summer over the winter because then his ass wouldn't feel as cold when he sat down on a bench in the park, also because of his father. The man felt guilty for his stern behavior and bought all kind of stuff for him. As if that would make up for everything and make Sam feel a little better or something. It didn't. It only made the situation worse. Sam started to hate his father, not that he didn't hate him already, however buying him stuff instead of telling him he was sorry hurt even more. Sam started to use him to get whatever he wanted, only to make his father feel bad. These presents he got f his father he saw as little trophies, he placed in his room. Just to remind him and his father of what he had done to him.

status done
taggedopen
outfit here we go
ramble let's run around in circles ^^
credits well me judas xD