WE FELT ALIVE ,* STEVEN

[ADELINE HARLOW STERLING]

Life was a harsh, cruel, unforgiving adventure that you had no control over. Well, there was control to an extent and the rest was left up to fate - but in the end you had nobody to blame but yourself. Adeline knew the feeling all too well. She had walked away from the love of her life about a year ago, never speaking to him again. Irony was that she after the fatal accident that killed her best friend, Adeline lay in her hospital bed screaming his name over and over. He never came, he never heard her…he never even knew. Now here she was, walking alone through life and trying to keep herself hidden among the shadows. The one vibrant smile had been torn from her face and her laugh was only a faint memory of what it used to be. The flame that burned in her eyes had died along with Kayla on that night nearly six months ago now. So now, a little thing like walking through mall was enough to send Adeline’s emotions on a wild rampage. Everybody here laughed, smiled, held hands, and lived. They lived. Something Adeline wasn’t capable at the moment. She was on auto-pilot, attending the university and working towards her degree than spending the nights curled up with her bulldog. This place was a far cry from the world Addie knew existed, but sometimes it was nice to escape, it was nice to live vicariously through other people and their smiles. Maybe if she tried hard enough she would even remember what it felt like to be happy.

The slender brunette walked along the length of the mall, her silent footfalls eating up the tiled flooring beneath her. Her hands were buried snugly in the lining of her coat pockets and her eyes were aimlessly scanning the scenes around her. Long, wavy locks of brown hair fluttered around her shoulders as man-made wind swept by her. She had removed her oversized sun glasses from her face and placed them neatly in her bag. She had even left her hood up for quite awhile before removing it, the gesture made her feel so exposed. However, she had decided today was the day she needed to confront the person she used to be. She wanted to smile again, but it was all about taking baby steps. Getting out in public was the first on her list and so far she had done quite well. Granted, she was alone and simply browsing the stores, but it was better than being locked away where nobody could find her. A small sigh escaped her lips as she pushed by a small crowd and into a boutique. The dimmed lighting danced off her olive skin and gave her a glowing expression. Maybe she could fake being happy and then eventually find it again. Who knew. Adeline’s mind drifted to several different places as she meandered silently about the store. Her hands fiddled with a few pieces of clothing, testing the texture and durability before carefully placing them back on the rack.

She caught a few sideways glances from male employees, giving them a weak smile before quickly looking away. She hated attention from men, the feel of their eyes on her almost made her sick. She didn’t want people to notice her, not now at least. Swallowing the pain her life had brought, Addie looked back up to one of the men and exchanged a curious look. If she wanted to change than she better do it now. The blonde haired boy approached her swiftly, ”Can I help you?” he asked giving her a flirtatious grin. Adeline took the bait, her lips curling into a bright smile. ”I think I’ll be okay, but thanks.” her words fell with confidence she didn’t even know she had. ”I’ll be waiting for you…I mean, yeah.” the boy fumbled over his words before indiscreetly dropping his eyes to gaze over Adeline. Her own dark brown eyes rolled in their sockets as let out a small laugh before heading towards the exit and back into the mall. She cast a backwards glance to the blonde and caught him watching her leave - maybe she still had it, or maybe it was just a nice thought.

Either way, as the brunette emerged in the florescent lighting she found herself wearing a small, but still visible smile. She was ready to move on with her life, at least so she thought. Time heals all wounds, her mother had told her that. It seemed to be proving true as she continued on throughout the evening, creating small conversations with each store she went into. The socialization was good for her, she needed to talk to people. As the sun began to set against the pastel sky, more people began flooding into the mall. Adeline was quickly swallowed up in a sea people and it seemed impossible to notice any individual. Back she went into her isolated world, but this time she was holding her high - but that was sure to end soon.

------------------------
WORD COUNT; 848.
STATUS; complete.
OUTFIT; here
NOTES; sorry it's bad :[

[Steven Riley BÉbinn]

HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN

[/color][/size]
GOING DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I’VE EVER KNOWN[/color][/size]

LIKE A DRIFTER I WAS BORN TO WALK ALONE[/color][/b][/size]
[/center]

The word “mall” hardly ever graced Steven’s vocabulary. It was a rare occurrence, therefore, to actually find him walking around the store-infested building. On a normal day, the massive amounts of people bound to be at the mall would annoy Steven to the point of complete madness. He always ended up grumbling underneath his breath, throwing his car keys at passersby, and buying way too much coffee when he took an unfortunate trip to the mall. But today was not normal, or so it seemed. He had a reason to be out shopping, no matter how much he hated to be accomplishing this task, and knew the mall was the only place he could visit that would bring him what he was looking for. His mother’s birthday was approaching. And no good-natured son would forget his mother’s birthday. It was a crime to do so.

It was even more of a crime to fail at getting her a respectable gift. Lucky for Steven, today happened to be his day off. He seemed to be gaining a lot of unexpected free time lately, which he attributed to the fact that his place of employment mainly needed him during the strange night hours. Which was, in effect, turning the young man into quite the insomniac. He’d always had nocturnal tendencies, and this work schedule definitely wasn’t helping to reverse the trend. And since Steven has always possessed the irreversible desire to be active at all times – his lack of attention span harboring him from sitting still even for five minutes at a time – he knew today was the day to accomplish the great gift search. If only his sister could help him, then he’d be sure to find something worthy. Or any girl he knew, for that matter. But, as he was so painfully reminded, Steven didn’t know too many girls. Aside from his sister, he’d been unable to grow close to any female since the loss of his longtime girlfriend. If she could break his heart, what was stopping anyone else? Due to his refusal to fall into the trap again, Steven was now forced to wander the busy halls of the mall on his own. He was sure he looked a little out of place, but if he kept his head down and his eyes focused on his feet, maybe he wouldn’t have to explain himself.

He’d only been at the mall for a few minutes by the time he was growing tired of the crowd. He’d stopped at one shop, which proved to be pointless unless his mother liked really odd paintings or incense. Neither of which would work. He pulled his hat down over his eyes, figuring this would help keep him from being spotted by anyone. He wasn’t in the mood for casual conversation with so-and-so from the bar. Unless they were going to buy him coffee, in which case, the suffering would be worthwhile. For now, it was all eyes on the floor and quickly moving feet. The faster he walked, the quicker he’d get to a potential store. Little did he know, this plan would cost him more than he could have imagined. He hadn’t thought about bumping into anyone. Sure, walking with your eyes to the ground usually put you at quite a risk for physical confrontation with another mall-walker. But Steven hadn’t considered the possibility until it happened. He collided into her with little warning, quickly bracing the stranger from the impact. ”I’m really sorry,” he stammered, reaching down to grab some bags that had fallen with the collision, ”I wasn’t watching where I was going, that was totally my fault.” Steven figured he was lucky it was a girl he had run into, no matter how much he was trying to avoid females at all costs lately, because a guy would have gotten violent. And that was the last trigger Steven’s anger needed right now. He stood back up and fumbled around with the fallen items, attempting to hand them back to the poor victim of his obliviousness. ”Are you okay? I didn’t step on your foot or any…” he trailed off, eyes locked on the woman in front of him. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t. It was impossible. ”Addie?” That would likely be the last word he would speak all day. Too shocked to muster up any other snippets of his vocabulary, and too paralyzed to even move out of the way of people rushing by, Steven couldn’t believe his luck. Luck that, right now, he considered to be incredibly unfortunate.

OUTFIT: click!
TAGGED: addie!
NOTES: sorry, not my best. it'll get better!

[ADELINE HARLOW STERLING]

With each step that the young brunette took, she found her eyes sinking lower and closer to the ground. That ‘ new found confidence’ was quite short lived and ended before she even had time to decide what other store she wanted to go into. Then again, maybe she didn’t even want to go into another store. She had already picked up the new jeans she wanted and well, there wasn’t much else to look forward to. She didn’t need anything - except maybe a therapist, but even that got old after going for three months. To be honest, the girl just needed to learn how to live again, a part of her had died in the car accident. She hated showing it though, she didn’t want a single person to know how much pain she was in. That was Adeline, always stubborn. She had one of the hardest heads and it took a lot of convincing for her to change her mind. She also this fear of being perceived as weak, she wanted everybody to see how emotionally and mentally strong she was. That wasn’t important day, no, today she was just wandering without direction amongst a growing sea of people.

If Christmas and all the holidays were over, why were so many people packing the mall? Maybe they were exchanging or maybe they were just as bored as Adeline was. Addie rubbed shoulders with a few passers by and didn’t even look up to catch their glances. Her walk was drifting slightly and the only explanation had to be the lack of sleep. Winter break was winding to an end but Adeline had found the vacation to be anything but relaxing. Her bouts of insomnia had inhibited her from sleeping or gaining much rest at all. She found she slept best, or at all, in the middle of the afternoon when cuddled up with her dog. Even then, that would only last for four hours at best. It wasn’t a surprise she was a weak legged, but as the sun continued to lower over the horizon - her nocturnal instincts were kicking in little by little. In a meager attempt to pay attention to the world, she lifted her chin and cast her vision out over the mob of people surrounding her. There was no point - it was impossible to pick out any individual, well except for that guy with the fire engine red hair. Yeah, he was quite visible, but other than that it was fruitless. Accepting defeat with a silent sigh, the girl buried her vision in the flooring once more and continued to press onward. She wasn’t sure where she heading, but she was going somewhere.

It came as no surprise when Adeline felt the thud of running into an oncoming person. Bracing herself after the hit, she felt two strong hands grasp her shoulders to keep her steady. Had she run into this person or had they run into her? Who knew. Addie’s eyes dropped to her side where her bag and purse had been knocked loose from her shoulder. As she leaned down to collect them, she found that she was already too late. The man who she had run into was already gathering them for her. ”I wasn’t watching where I was going, that was totally my fault.” The deep baritones of his voice hit her ears and quickly her eyebrows furrowed. That was a familiar sound, one she hadn’t heard in awhile. She swallowed against her paranoia and reassured the man, ”Oh it’s fine, I think I may have actually run into you.” She listened as he explained him, finding that she was loving the sound of his voice - that it for some reason made her feel like she wasn’t alone. A faint smile glimmered upon her face as she graciously took back her bags and then looked to see whom she was speaking with.

The smile disappeared from her face instantly, her dark brown eyes connecting with those all too familiar blue ones. ”Addie?” A lump swelled in Adeline’s throat and threatened to block all attempts to speak - which it did for a few moments. Her heart sank and beat heavily within her chest, her stomach turning into a huge knot. She had even forgotten to breathe, so with a whispered voice she finally spoke, ”Steven.” It was simply stated because she simply knew it was him. That was all she could manage to do or say. Her wide eyes became a bit glassy with tears as she did her best to bite back all the emotions threatening to erupt within her. Reading the uncertainty in his sapphire eyes, she took a small step back to give him room. Her hands trembled slightly as she reclaimed her bags from him, her eyes still not unhinging from his. What was she supposed to do? She could feel her heart breaking all over again and it had never healed in the first place. She shook her head and tried to get a grip on reality. ”I’m so sorry, I should…I should go.” She kept eye contact for another moment or two before spinning on her heels looking the way she had originally been waking. Her jaw slightly agape as she found breathing to become a struggle once more.

------------------------
WORD COUNT; 889.
STATUS; complete.
OUTFIT; here
NOTES; aw, she misses him.

[Steven Riley BÉbinn]

HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN

[/color][/size]
GOING DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I’VE EVER KNOWN[/color][/size]

LIKE A DRIFTER I WAS BORN TO WALK ALONE[/color][/b][/size]
[/center]

There were plenty of paths the day could have taken. Considering he was in the mall, Steven figured the day was already proving to be unusual and therefore could have taken any and every unexpected turn for the better, worse, or inbetween- and Steven wouldn't have minded. In fact, he probably wouldn't have even been surprised. But this was incredibly unexpected. This run-in, no matter how much it confused and excited hims at the same time, was the one thing the day chose to do that Steven wouldn't understand. It was the one turn of events he would never have wanted, nor would he have been prepared for in the slightest.

Yet, here he stood. Adeline in front of him, as speechless, it seemed, as he was. They were both paralyzed with whatever mixture of emotions they had bottled up inside of them. Emotions, he figured, that were a result of the past year's worth of pain, memory, regret, rebellion. Whatever other feeling could come from what they had gained and lost all in a matter of months. He found it funny that when they were together, he was never short on words to say. They talked about anything and everything. Steven couldn't remember a moment that wasn't filled with laughter or at least chatter when they were together. Now, neither of them possessed the ability to break the silence. Or break, apparently, the connection their eyes were currently experiencing. He couldn't look away from her, no matter how much his brain was urging him to do so. When his brain and heart fought, it seemed his heart always won. He considered it a weakness. But he'd never been able to overcome it.

"I was just leaving... anyway, so I should..." he stammered around, trying to find a response to her equally uncomfortable search for words. Steven knew he shouldn't be this nervous around someone he was once in love with. Someone he was determined to spend the rest of his life with. Yet here he was, unbelievably anxious. Broken hearts had that power, he concluded. He turned to leave, hesitated, turn to leave again, and hesitated once more. It wasn't as if he had anything to say, nothing to explain, and certainly no happy words to exchange about his current life. He could care less what she was up to anyway. Why would he want to know about her life without him? Because he had never fully recovered, that's why. "Wait," he nearly blurted out, almost regretful for doing so. He could have simply turned and walked away, but his voice had other plans. Again with the heart's winning streak. Instead of leaving and forgetting this happened - which was unlikely anyway - Steven instead reached out and gently grabbed Addie's arm, prohibiting her from walking away just yet. He nearly shuddered at the touch, the familiarity far too comfortable for what he needed. "I'm not even... I'm sure I shouldn't..."

Steven cursed himself for his inability to speak in full sentences. Why couldn't he finish a thought? Of course now he would look weak. His biggest fear. He took a moment to think, a deep breath accompanying the contemplation before he spoke again. "How long have you been back here? I just need to know." He threw the statement out there as quickly as he could, realizing that his heart and brain were agreeing on one thing: he needed to know this fact in order to move on, which was his goal, after all. If she'd been back for months, his strength would no doubt be shattered again. He couldn't stomach the thought of living in the same city as her unknowingly. He had thought she left. He had no fear of going to public places and running into her. How foolish he must have been. He was sure the people around him were growing frustrated at the two young people blocking the hallway. He was sure there would be harsh words exchanged, maybe a thrown pretzel or two, if they didn't move soon. But Steven needed to know first. He wouldn't be able to say another word for the rest of his life if he didn't hear her answer first, as much as hearing her voice pained him. His eyes were locked on her, despite his efforts to tear his gaze away. Looking at her couldn't help his current state, he knew this. But people do crazy things in time of immediate emotion. Steven knew this from experience.

OUTFIT: click!
TAGGED: addie!
NOTES: poor little things.

[ADELINE HARLOW STERLING]

There wasn’t time to think complete thoughts or even speak entire words. As quickly as the reunion had occurred, Addie had attempted to end it. It was a desperate plea that Steven answered the moment had put his hand around her arm. Even if he hadn’t stopped her from leaving, she wouldn’t have been able to move any further. Walking away from him a second time was proving to be impossible - both physically and emotionally. In her mind, walking away from him in the first place had been a mistake, but she knew he deserved better. This time though, Steven wanted answers and she owed it to him. Her golden flecked eyes snapped back to him without a trace of hesitation - almost as if they were meant to be connected with his own. She adjusted herself slightly and tightened her lips in order to swallow the mountain that had developed in her throat. In a flustered manner she removed the stray strands of hair from around her face, shoving them without care behind her ears. Adeline’s feet were anchored to the ground and still her voice was unable to find it’s way out of her mouth. Luckily, Steven broke the silence - perhaps not for long, but long enough.

His voice was a painful reminder of what she used to have, but it had some sort of soothing effect at the same time. From the moment she walked away she had been yearning for her voice, his touch. While her body shook under her clothes she tried to decipher her own thoughts, but none were clear. She had been so foolish to think that she was never going to see him again. Inwardly she had been hoping to see him, but she was convinced it wouldn’t happen. Now he was here, directly in front of her. There was no escaping this and in a way she didn’t want to. Her mind, which usually got the best of her, was begging her to just walk away but on this day her heart was proving stronger. Steven always had this affect on her. Adeline drank in his presence as the two simply stood there fighting for the right words. It had been so long since she had seen his face and now everything about it seemed more defined - more alluring. She could always read him like a book and she could tell that he was overcome with emotions, just as she was. Her eyes dropped once more, she felt too guilty to hold the eye contact for much longer. She knew how badly she had hurt him, but did he know how badly she had hurt herself? Probably not and it didn’t even matter.

”How long have you been back here? I just need to know.” His question was fair and direct. He did deserve to know and if it helped him in away, then she was going to tell him. The better question would be ‘did you ever leave?’ In all honestly, Adeline had been able to get from New Orleans for no more than a month, maybe two. Now that she thought about it, it was surprising that the two hadn’t run into each other sooner. Their streak of luck had ended now though. Addie looked around at the people bustling by them and she took the initiative to move things to a more private location. She exhaled sharply and took Steven’s wrist - pulling him into a small hallway that was designated for employees only. Maybe she’d be able to think clearer without a million people rushing passed. Once she had determined that the spot was good enough, she turned to Steven and found the ability to let her voice ring out. ”I-I never really left.” one hand was raised to her forehead and her eyes clenched shut. She took a deep, slightly staggered breath and tried to relax.

”I was only for a month, two at best.”, words spilled as if they didn’t have to be forced from her tongue. She had almost forgotten how easy the boy was to speak with. She used to tell him everything, absolutely everything - even if he didn’t want to hear it. Adeline could sense every emotion that she had felt over the past year and it becoming a lot to deal with. She shook her head slightly and with a whispered voice she spoke once more, ”I’m really sorry.” How could she look him in the eyes? How could he bare the sight of her? What she had done was so wrong, so unforgivable. He had likely moved on by now, he could be dating somebody else - she hadn’t even considered that. Just that thought alone caused her body to ache in some ungodly manner and chills ran up her spine. It was logical though and she shouldn’t be surprised if he was. Adeline knew there was only one person for her and that she had made only one true mistake in her lifetime. Her heart belonged solely to Steven and she had completely betrayed their love when she walked away. Sometimes that hardest thing and the right thing aren’t the same.

------------------------
WORD COUNT; 866.
STATUS; complete.
OUTFIT; here
NOTES; aw, she misses him.

[Steven Riley BÉbinn]

HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN

[/color][/size]
GOING DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I’VE EVER KNOWN[/color][/size]

LIKE A DRIFTER I WAS BORN TO WALK ALONE[/color][/b][/size]
[/center]

Of all the words Steven could use to describe himself, he always considered “strong” and “solid” to be two of them. To him, those words represented something he aimed to be, if he hadn’t already accomplished the feat. Being strong and being solid meant always standing your ground, always having something to say in your defense, and never showing any sign of weakness. In fact, on all the college entrance exams he’d taken before he screwed those plans up as well, he’d had to fill in the blank of “what words describe you”. And he always chose “strong.” It’s the same word he chose to write his final exam for literature over. Something about picking a character who exemplified his own traits. He’d done countless nights of searching just to find the right character, someone with as much strength and composure as he wanted to have. But now, it seemed, all of that was somehow lost. Or had become a lie he told himself. Somewhere along the way, he had failed to obtain the strength he had so desperately wanted.

Because, it was painfully obvious now, he had found his weakness. And as she stood in front of him, he was absolutely certain that Adeline was his weakness all along. He wouldn’t have wanted to spend the rest of his life with her if she wasn’t. He wouldn’t have spent his entire year’s salary from the horrible job he worked at the golf course on her engagement ring. The job he had taken only so could raise money for the important piece of jewelry. He certainly wouldn’t have forgone college, made plans around it, searched flights around the world for their adventures, and suffered the humiliation of being rejected if he hadn’t loved her. But Addie knew he loved her. Maybe she could tell now that he possessed the potential to always love her. That’s what he feared. He cleared his throat once they had been pulled into the more private area of the mall. He was glad she had made the move. People were beginning to stare and Steven hated making a scene. Now he just had to get his voice to work. If only it would cooperate. ”Where did you go?” It was the only question he could think to muster up at her response. He had thought she was gone for the past year. Since the incident that changed everything between them, Steven was convinced Addie had fled town and she was long gone.

But she had been here. It was almost discomforting. He had spoken with some of her friends, some of her neighbors. He’d even tried to contact her brother. All of them said she was gone. They wouldn’t say where, just that she was gone. He had given up hope after a while, but Steven would confess that the first few weeks he had spent tirelessly trying to trace her down. Before his buddies stepped in and convinced him otherwise, he had been determined to change Addie’s mind. ”There’s nothing to apologize for,” he finally spoke after a moment of contemplation. Even if there was, he wouldn’t want to hear it. ”I guess I shouldn’t be so speechless. We used to come to this mall all the time, it was bound to happen,” he ran a hand through his hair and stared at the wall behind her. It was easier to look at the wall – it didn’t hold three year’s worth of history. He’d never told the wall he’d loved it. He’d never laughed in front of the wall, cried in front of the wall, held the wall’s hand. It was safer, he decided. Yet, the glimpses of Addie's face that Steven couldn't help but notice proved she was in the same emotional whirlwind as he was. And he hated to see her this way. His natural instincts kicked in and he wanted to comfort her, but he couldn’t let himself. It was the hardest thing to just stand there. ”Are you in a hurry?” He was an idiot. He knew he was. He could have turned and walked away. He could have gone out with his buddies and forgotten about all of this. But now he was setting himself up for even more torture. He considered himself to be his worst enemy in times like these. But the idea of catching up with Addie – no matter how painful the information would be – was too strong to ignore.

OUTFIT: click!
TAGGED: addie!
NOTES: sorry it took so long - we've had horrible weather here and power goes on and off.

[ADELINE HARLOW STERLING]

Starting a new chapter in one’s life is supposed to be fun, exciting - the start of a new adventure. For Adeline, this ‘new chapter’ had only proven to be the one she wished she had never written. Not only for the loss of her love, but for the loss of her best friend and almost the loss of her own life. Nothing within the past year had gone right and it had been anything but a fun time for the young brunette. Now, as if things couldn’t possibly get worse, she was confronted with old feelings that she thought were locked away for good. It was funny how the universe worked - for so long the couple had been able to avoid one another and then in the middle of a crowded room, they literally bump into one another. No less it was on the day that Adeline had decided to finally put everything behind her. So things worked in mysterious ways and it was just something she was going to have to accept, no matter how much she didn’t want to. Composure was something that she barely possessed at the moment and it took every ounce of strength for the girl to keep her wits about her. There was so much to say ,or so she thought, about what had happened in the past year - why she had left, where she had gone for that month, and why she know bore a nasty scar across her leg. Luckily, that was something she wouldn’t have to deal with until summer - the winter months ensured she kept her legs hidden. That was one less topic to bombard the boy with.

What filtered from Steven’s tongue wasn’t surprising and she had expected the question from him. Where had she gone? Well, that was interesting enough. She flew out to Chicago, to live with her cousin. That hadn’t lasted long and before Addie knew it, she was flying back to Louisiana. She had missed everything about the place and just couldn’t stay away for too long. ”I went to Chicago to live with my cousin Gia for a few weeks.” she spoke just loud enough for him to hear - her explanation short and simple. A blanket of silence fell between Adeline and Steven as it became quite apparent that they were both still adjusting to the situation. The brunette shifted uneasily on her feet, finding new ways to distribute her weight. Her heart was still beating wildly within her chest and her breathing was still a bit more labored than usual, but she was certainly more calm than before. That is, with the rush of emotions that she was trying to restrain from spilling over. Just as she began to grow a bit anxious, Steven’s voice broke the still air and roused Adeline back to life. She didn’t have anything to apologize for? He couldn’t possibly be serious. But that was Steven, he was always forgiving about even the littlest things. He took everything Adeline had thrown at him with poise and respect, why couldn’t she be a bit more like that?

Her lips twitched into a small, unrevealing smile at his words. They did come to the mall a lot when they were younger. They spent much of that time laughing, smiling, and holding hands. They were three good years. It was something Adeline was sure to cherish forever. She suppressed the memories long enough to hear Steven’s next question. She wasn’t busy or in a rush at all, but she couldn’t assume the same for him. Inhaling deeply, she began to shake her head, ”No, I was just sort of browsing around - to pass time.” Her dark eyes darted to catch his blue ones for just a second before dropping the contact, though she was almost enticed into it several times more. ”Are you?” she was equally curious. As much as Adeline knew it was the wrong thing to do, she still wanted to know what was going on in Steven’s life. Even if it meant she would be in more pain, even if it meant that her emotions would be on the rocks, even if it meant that he would reject the discreet offer and walk away - just as she had. If he left her, she didn’t know if she could just let him go like he had let her. She had heard of one occasion that Steven had asked a mutual friend where she had run off to, but it was only once. Did he fight for her at all? Well, she wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, he owed nothing to her. She, after all, was the one who had abandon three years of history.


------------------------
WORD COUNT; 867.
STATUS; complete.
OUTFIT; here
NOTES; bleh.

[Steven Riley BÉbinn]

HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN

[/color][/size]
GOING DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I’VE EVER KNOWN[/color][/size]

LIKE A DRIFTER I WAS BORN TO WALK ALONE[/color][/b][/size]
[/center]

So now he knew. He knew where Adeline had been for the past year. For some reason, it didn’t offer up near the amount of comfort Steven had predicted it would. He’d spend countless nights wondering where Addie had gone off to, as if it would somehow make it okay that she left. He figured finding out the location would somehow clear things up and allow him to let go. But her answer barely satisfied him. If anything, it just created a deeper hole in his heart because, now, he could picture where she was when he was walking around the streets alone. When he was sitting in the corner booth of the ice cream shop down the street, staring at his menu and wishing he wasn’t by himself, Adeline was probably laughing and shopping and having a much better time with her cousin. He nodded his head in acceptance of the fact, despite the obvious hole that was still left. A nod was really all he could offer. Steven wondered for a brief second what Chicago was like. Was it as busy as he had always imagined? Were the people nice? They certainly couldn’t be as friendly as the people in New Orleans. There was no way. But he couldn’t wonder about it now. It didn’t matter what Chicago was like. Or what it wasn’t like. Or if she had found some Chicago boy to make things better.

No matter how much he wanted to know. And maybe he’d get the chance, despite how horrible he knew the decision was. He shouldn’t be doing it, he knew better. But his heart was already winning 2-0 and it was about to add another score against his brain. ”I was just trying to find my mother a gift. I didn’t have any plans” he responded, his words coming out slower as if he was trying to think of every one of them off the top of his head as he went along. For such a simple sentence, it sure took a lot of thought. He figured it was his mind’s way of trying to convince him to rethink his idea. But it wasn’t working, he was still convinced that they should talk. Maybe it would help in some unpredictable way. Maybe it would make things worse. No one would know until they attempted it. And it could go either way. He’d end the trip to the mall one of two ways. He could be even more heartbroken and lost. Or he could be somehow comforted with new information and perhaps even a gift for his mother. He wasn’t sure which was more probable of a possibility, but Steven was a gambler. He’d take his chances.

”I know this is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve suggested in about a year,” he started, a deep breath accompanying his words, ”but would you like to get coffee?” The question was easier to ask than Steven had predicted. He figured it was because he had asked it six hundred times before. What was another one time going to hurt? ”There’s a little café down there. By the music store where we bought that Tom Petty album for your brother,” he commented, pointing in the direction, ”it’s fairly new. Better than Starbucks.” Maybe he was trying to make things less awkward, or he was trying to put the past behind them and act as if nothing was out of the ordinary. He was failing at it, either way. He still felt like it was a stupid decision. But somehow he couldn’t stop himself from heading back toward the hallway, checking over his shoulder to see if Adeline was following. She didn’t have to. In fact, he wouldn’t blame her for staying. But the cards were on the table and Steven placed a max bet. So he was all in.

OUTFIT: click!
TAGGED: addie!